When the World Calls You a Winner, I Just Want to Cry: A Gamer’s Quiet Battle with Pressure

मुझे याद है, वह रात जब मेरा मोबाइल स्क्रीन पर ‘टॉप #1!’ के संदेशों से जगमगा उठा। ‘आप प्रचलित हैं!’ — पर… मुझे कुछ महसूस हुआ? सन्नाटा।

मुझे orga pride. I was exhausted.

एक पूर्व युवा परामर्शदाता के रूप में, मुझे समझना पड़ता है—खेलों में ‘जीत’ कई मामलों में, सच्चीखुशी से दूर होती है।

‘जीत’ का प्रभाव

दोस्त, बड़ (Dòjī) -जैसे-ज़्यादातर competitive games में, ‘जीत’ = ‘खुश’। Loud celebration. Streaks show. But behind the screen? Often a silent mind holding on.

एक anonymous user: “मैंने 3 matches win kie. Dost ne kaha ‘unstoppable’. Par andar—main bas ghumne ka maan raha tha.”

यह line mujhe tod diya. Kyun? Kyunki loss nahi hai—victory ke baad bhi kuchh na feel karna hai.

Performance Culture Ka Kala Hasya

Aaj ki duniya mein har action quantified hai: wins, likes, followers. In games jaise दोस्त, success skill se zyada performance art ban jaata hai. Par yeh bat nahi batayi jati: jab tum “winner” ban jaate ho, toh tum insaan nahi rehte. Tumhare emotions stats ke hisaab se hone chahiye — excited, loud, proud. Koi hesitation? Weakness samjha jata hai. Koi doubt? Failure. Yeh gameplay nahi hai — yeh fun ke naam par psychological pressure hai.

Journal of Digital Mental Health (2023) ke research ke mutabik 68% competitive gamers high-stakes wins ke baad emotional exhaustion me hote hain — chahe jeet ho ya na ho. Kyunki identity outcome se judi hoti hai—not experience se.

Rewriting Success: From Winning to Being

Toh agar hum success ko dobara define karein? Poochhein: “Kitni jeet li?” Ki thodi “kya enjoy kiya?” Poochhein: “Kya dil ka dhadkan sambhal raha tha?” Poochhein: “Kya tu khud ko dekha gaya tha—even if no one clapped?”

Maine in sawal apne community forums me puche—aur logon ne reply diya na pride… balki relief. Ek player Luna ne likha: “Mese months tak sirf reward ke liye khelte the. Pichle hafta main game mid-miss karke ro paaya—bina sharm ke.” The next day: “Aaj main bas panch minute khela kyunki ye mere dadi ki chai ki yaad dilayi.” Woh moment—choosing presence over performance—that was real victory.

Tumhara Game Tumhari Identity Nahi Hai

The truth simple but radical: tu great hona padta nahi jeevan ka waqt alag karne ke liye. tu praise zaroori nahi jeevan ka value badalne ke liye. tu rank ya trophy nahi chahie taki yahan belong kar sako—not even if sab bolte hain ‘golden fighter’. every time you play, it can be yours—not for show, because it feels true, because your soul says yes, to that moment, to yourself, to this breath, to this game—just as it is.