When the World Calls You a Winner, I Just Want to Cry

আমি 10:30pm-এ Manhattan-এরএকটিআপারটমধ্যেবসছি—বৃষ্টিরশব্দকানাঘষছেজানল।হেডফোন,দৃষ্টি-সকলকিছুআইচিকচণচণশউ।’গোলডেনফলম’ -এরজয়পদক্‌প্‌ড্‌শফটহ’ভাঙছ।

খেলা ‘বিজয়’হিসাবেউপস্থাপনকরছ।সম্প্রদায়: “Rooftop Queen!”

কিন্তুঅভ্যন्तর?শূন्य।

আনন্দ?ওইখুবইখয়.

আগে 18-24বছরবয়সি(Rio) -এইউথগণকথা—“আজ R$800জিতলাম।

crying after because no one saw me do it.” “Screenshot upload korechi… only 3 likes. That’s more than my mom gave me today.”

Ei failure nai. Ei signals.

Why We Play When We’re Already Wounded?

Platform and player er bich ekta invisible contract: play hard → win → feel validated → repeat. But what if validation becomes addiction? For young women—whose voices are often quieter—digital arena gives permission to be loud. The danger? Confusing visibility with belonging. When Sofia calls herself “Golden Flame Champion”, she means: I finally felt seen. But that feeling fades after next loss—or silence from others.

The Cost of Being Seen (But Not Known)

The real cost? Emotional labor behind gameplay. The mental toll of playing not for fun—but because you need proof you exist. The MIT study found that 68% of female gamers aged 18–24 reported feeling more drained after winning streaks than losing ones—because they expected applause… but got silence instead. The irony isn’t lost on me. The louder you play… the quieter your soul becomes.

Rewriting the Game From Within — A Different Kind of Victory —

in my work leading mental wellness in gaming communities, i’ve started asking players: Pretend there’s no leaderboard. No prize pool. No fame. Pretend all you get is ten minutes where you feel something real—even sadness or stillness—because someone else might be doing exactly that right now too… pause… breathe… then click ‘start’ again—not to prove anything—but because you want to feel alive again, even if only for thirty seconds. The real victory? Not beating others—it’s showing up as yourself, in full vulnerability, on a screen lit by rain outside, as someone else does too, somewhere far away, in silence too, yet somehow together.